Okay, this probably belongs over on crdc, but until I get that back and functioning, I guess this will have to do.
Folks, this has been a crazy few weeks.
So, several weeks ago, _why vanished off of the internet. While I met him only once, I sincerely liked the guy, and his leaving had a pretty significant impact on me. I’m still not sure how to make heads or tails of it, and I’m still not sure how to react. I’m sad and angry all at once. He owed me nothing, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to hear something, anything, from a man who publicly remarked that he wanted to, “raise me from birth.” He is an amazing person, and I think that our computing goals are similar.
A day later, a depression took me that I really can’t explain. Maybe it was because of _why, but I don’t think so. Maybe it was because of some premonition of the following day, but I’m pretty sure that’s not it. Regardless, I drank sake and fell asleep, almost certain that my world was coming to an end.
The following day, everything came to a head at my place of employment and I left. It wasn’t working, I didn’t belong there. I wasn’t happy with the amount of brainpower required to perform my duties, and they weren’t happy with my performance. In the end, it really wasn’t fair to anyone that I continue my employment there.
So, the confusion mounted. Most of my websites and work were removed from the internet by my previous employer (who had been hosting it for free), a friend of mine sent me an extremely large bag of Smarties (shipped all the way from sunny California!), and I kept my family in the dark about my employment situation. I toyed with the idea of taking a crappy part time job. My websites stayed down. I didn’t feel like posting anything to twitter because my former co-workers and my family would see it. And I wanted to stay in the dark. I got very drunk. I wandered for a while.
The following week, I went to my local Ruby Users’ meetup, which was small but encouraging. At this event I somehow managed an essentially free trip to Nashville, TN, which I took with some mild prodding. I loved the trip, and the whole situation became far more manageable in my mind.
My local Ruby Users’ group has been amazing and encouraging, offering tons of help in finding a job. Someone I met through the Ruby community introduced me to some people for freelance work, and I have set about rebuilding my codebase, much of which was hosted with the previous employer, so that I can land a job. As a result, I have been very, very busy.
So, hopefully that explains the silence that many of you have been experiencing. It feels nice to put it all out in black and white. Much easier for me to make sense of, at least.
Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and friendship.